For some reason I’ve been too scared to write these past few months. I feel like nobody understands me anymore… or at least makes an effort to. It’s so easy to make assumptions based on what’s posted, instead of going the extra mile and asking what the real score is. I appreciate those who sat down, asked and listened, while in my head I’m laughing at those who just assumed and laughed at me behind my back. It’s easy to get offended but on the flip side, how they treat me says a lot about the kind of people they are so… there. As you grow and as days go by you begin to see who your friends really are. You get to have a clearer view on who’s real and who’s not, who’s considerate when it comes to your feelings and who’s not, and… etc. Filter. Yeah that’s the word. It’s like… life’s showing you who the worthy investments are and who aren’t. This has always been a tough lesson for me but pain and tears aside I’m still grateful.
My unit’s white walls are now sporting a gray shade, thanks to the very gloomy weather. My windows are now waterfalls and I have to admit, sometimes I find myself staring at them and wondering if the water ever gets tired of falling. I’m thinking of writing a song and I can feel one coming up. I’m just sitting here and waiting for it like a giddy kid waiting for banana pancakes. I want to talk to someone right now but everyone’s busy. I’m also in need of hugs right now but everyone’s busy.
For some reason I feel alone despite the 1,000+ contacts I have on Facebook. Maybe that IS the problem: they’re all on Facebook. I would go out and hang out somewhere but it’s raining. Maybe I’ll do it later. My bed is calling my name and I’ll probably give in in a while. Hopefully by the time I’m there with my pen and paper in hand the song will come. I have melodies in mind but I can’t sing because I have no voice right now.
I would do anything to get hugs right now but everyone’s busy.
Oh rain. Why’d you have to be so gloomy? My day is off to a slow start but I know that in a couple of hours or so, things will be better. For now, I’ll take a sip of my hot choco.